David C sits solemnly on the windowsill. His cold feet dangle from the 2nd floor window. In his hand a Webley revolver – slighty oldfashioned but made in Britain.
Theresa M, seated next to him, accidentally dropped a shoe on the pavement below and wonders if it would be wise to jump after it. Then she looks at the British bull dog revolver in her hand: also made in Britain, and hopelessly out of date, but from a time when Britannia ruled the waves.
“So what is this game you came up with, David?”
David C sits solemnly on the windowsill. His cold feet dangle from the 2nd floor window. In his hand a Webley revolver – slighty oldfashioned but made in Britain.
Theresa M, seated next to him, accidentally dropped a shoe on the pavement below and wonders if it would be wise to jump after it. Then she looks at the British bull dog revolver in her hand: also made in Britain, and hopelessly out of date, but from a time when Britannia ruled the waves.
“So what is this game you came up with, David?”
“British Roulette Theresa. It isn’t really new, we’ve been playing it all along, in a way”.
“How does it work?”
“Well you open it up like that, put a single bullet inside, and give it a swivel, like this”.
He shows her how to do it.
“Oh is this where you put the gun to your head and have a 1 in 5 chance to blow your brains out?”
“No, that’s Russian roulette”.
“That’s dreadful”.
“It is, which is why we’re playing British roulette. You don’t point the gun at yourself, but at other people”.
“Ah, so even if the gun fires, nothing ever happens to you? That sounds familiar”.
“Exactly”, says David, points his gun at Theresa, and pulls the trigger.
She screams hysterically for a moment, until she realizes she is still alive. David laughs at her like a hyena.
“You see”, he says,”it’s good fun. Although it backfired a bit with the Brexit thing”.
“And then when I called elections, But it’s a fun thing to do, so we keep doing it, right?”.
She puts a bullet in her British bull dog, gives it a swivel, and fires at David. They both laugh hysterically, and Theresa’s other shoe falls to the ground.
“You see, nothing can really happen to you when you play British roulette. Worse case you get sacked, but we’ll hardly have to claim benefits”
“Well, if you see it that way, it’s a risk worth taking”.
“That’s what I love about politics. You take risks with other peoples money, and when you cock up, you get lots of spare time”.
Theresa slowly aims at a pedestrian on the pavement below, pulls the trigger, and fires.
“Hmm, it was more fun in parliament to be honest”, she says, as the pedestrian walks away unscathed.
“You got 3 more shots”.
“Ok, this one is for rising tuition fees”, she says, and pulls the trigger again. It hits an empty slot.
“This one.. hmm… affordable housing?”
“Go for it!”, David cheers, but it’s another blank.
“What about the NHS we’re ruining?”,
“It’s your last shot, this one got a bullet in it for sure!”
Theresa pulls the trigger, but the old gun is jammed.
“Awe, we can’t get anything right, can we?”
“Time to make Britain great again!”
“Strong and stable!”